The Joy of OTKMs. Harriet Marwood
As we all surely know, in the world of what is broadly called BDSM there are many, many specific interests and playing styles. Guess who did not know this? Me! Well, years ago when I first decided to hang out my shingle, I didn’t! I had played at private parties, and my boyfriend liked to take a good ass whoopin’, so I assumed that everyone would be like the people I had met up to that point. Boy, was I wrong! Initially, I would give it my best shot to enact whatever kind of scene a client would suggest. If I had no experience in it, I’d do some research, though the resources then were limited. I applied the motto Fake It Till You Make It, and after many years of dabbling in a wide breadth of activities I one day realized that only one of them set my heart a’twitter. And that was OTK. Or, more accurately, any form of domestic corporal play. So I eased my way out of the dominatrix side of things and began to specialize.
For those with a similar penchant, I decided I would share with you a few tips and tidbits that might help you in your own play. Or maybe you’ll enjoy following my musings just for the fun of it. I’ve spanked a lot of bottoms and, though a lot of folks believe that spanking is spanking, within this sub-category there are more variations than I could ever count. Different fantasies. Different styles of administering corporal discipline. Different degrees of formality, or the lack thereof. Etc., etc. Much food for thought. Let’s have at it, shall we?
Starting at the Bottom
Yep, from the outset the bottom is at the top of the list. Spanking is all about the bottom. Bottom as in that nice soft, round pair of cheeks that we love to whack and smack. And bottom as in the person who belongs to that pair of cheeks. Spankings revolved around these. We have to respect our bottoming partners and remember that they would not be there offering their vulnerable rear end unless they feel that the person taking charge actually cares about them and won’t do any harm. If you want a good scene, you need to talk first and make sure the two of you are on the same page. And whoever’s topping needs to know how to use his/her hand, paddle, strap or cane safely. That being said, what are some of the joys of OTK? (And by the way, by OTK, I’m referring to all aspects of spanking play.)
Let’s start with connection. The first and most obvious thing about actual OTK is that you are very up close and personal with your partner. You take someone over your lap and they feel you as you feel them. You feel each other’s warmth, breathing, shifts in movement. You feel, consciously or unconsciously, what they are anticipating. If you take your time and really take this in, it can enable you to take major control over them. Which, after all, is what they want. Depending on what kind of relationship you have with this person, real OTK can become very intimate, and very intuitive. You can feel just when to escalate or smack harder or back off, just from the cues their body is giving you. Muscle tension, quick or relaxed breathing, squirming and involuntary twitches and wiggles. Isn’t it fun to get a reaction?! To push them at just the right moment and make them squirm for mercy. See how obedient you can make them once they know the hands-on consequences of stubbornness!
Let’s start with the basics: Spanking the naughty brat. Your partner walks in acting distracted. You tell them to sit down and they wander and fidget. So you have to get their attention and take control. Sometimes raising your voice will do the job. Sometimes you have to grab them by the arm and physically drag them to their chair and sit them on it. If they pout or get sassy, you might give them a sharp slap on the cheek. Or maybe even drag them to the bathroom and wash their nasty mouth out with soap. Whatever your tactics, the principle is always that you don’t stop until they understand that YOU are in charge.
All you pouty brats out there, you may end up subjected to a very boring ten minutes (or more!) standing in a corner if you can’t do as your told. This ordeal – the power struggle -- can last ten minutes or so, or you can engage in a battle of wills for quite some time. Some players like a lot of verbal interplay. Some prefer to get to the punishment without much fanfare. For the more dramatic types, the spanker ought to get him situated, sitting or standing, and lecture him as to why he’s there and exactly what he’s done to earn him a stern and sound punishment. Your brat might be the type to lower his head and listen impatiently; biding his time till this indignity passes. Or she may be an uppity bottom and not be able to resist taunting you, or insisting on her innocence, or arguing with everything you tell her.
For an uppity bottom, the fun is to exert your dominance in whatever way you have to get them in line. Yell at her. Grab her arm and sit her on a chair. Slap her. Threaten that her punishment is going to be a lot worse if she doesn’t stop misbehaving. But ultimately, it’s time to get down to business. After you’ve enjoyed the emotional tension of this psychological tug of war, take it to the next level. You’re in charge. You decide when to lower the boom.
If you have a compliant naughty boy, you might want to slowly strip him naked (as long as you’ve discussed this beforehand and mutually agreed to this). Having someone take off your clothes, piece by piece is very embarrassing. Especially if the Spanker remains fully clothed in contrast. If your bottom resists, you can stop, pull him over your knee and deliver 20 or 30 hard, fast spanks till he squirms and squeals and promises to settle down and cooperate. Then you stand him back up and finish – slowly unbutton his shirt, dragging out the ignominy…. Finally, pulling it off. Then his undershirt. Then unbuckle his belts and pull it out of its loops. (It might be a nice one made of soft, supple leather and maybe you’ll even put it to use later.) The real humiliation comes when you unzip the fly and his pants fall to the floor because he knows that his underwear is the only thing between his dignity and your complete authority.
If you want to give him a good warm-up so you are not likely leave marks, you can order him over your knee and start your spanking at this point, over his boxers or briefs. Some bottoms are shy and not very talkative. They like to feel the embarrassment and loss of control and simply be in the experience. So if you try to get them to speak back to you and aren’t too successful, just spank away. If you use a safeword, they can use it if they’re maxing out. If no safeword, watch if they physically tense up or hold their breath, a possible indication of putting up with something undesirable. If your brat is not the shy type, then you’re free to spank them till you see them react, and when they do, you can lecture and threaten them with a worse beating in future days if they don’t shape up. It’s also fun to announce to them exactly what you’re going to do with them, so they can fear and dread it while they wait for you to get started.
A good batch of hand spanks will ready the bottom for more. Whack him good for five or ten minutes and then, when he starts feeling tender, make him nervous by peeling down the underpants. Just the feel of air on their bare skin will have their little brain shooting spurts of adrenaline in anticipation of the heightened stings to come. At this point, sometimes I like to take my leg and wrap it over my bottom’s legs, pinning them securely. At this point, he knows that he’s about to really get it good. Now you start really spanking hard. If you want to see some squirms, hit him three or four times on one cheek in the same spot, and then likewise on other. Lather, rinse, repeat. If he whimpers or whines or complains, just tell him he brought it all himself and it’s too late for sympathy now! Spank to your heart’s content until his cheeks are fire engine red. When he has a nice base, you can proceed to your implements.
The most logical one to start with is that traditional item, the trusty wooden hairbrush. If you want to make your point fast, just use the 3 – 4 swats repeated onto the same spot of each cheek method. He’ll be promising to behave in no time! After you have him good and red on the main central portion of his butt, go to work on that fleshy, more tender portion at very bottom of his cheeks just above the upper thigh. Take your brush and strike in an upward motion, snapping your wrist as you bring it upward. You don’t have to use a full swing. Just smack and snap. If you can aim for the area underneath and right next to his ass crack, you’ll definitely get some lively reactions.
One thing to remember is that any bottom will get accustomed to any one particular implement if used for a prolonged amount of time. So to get his attention anew, you might want to grab that nice leather belt you slipped off his trousers, double it over so it’s nice and swingable from a sitting position and raise it high overhead, snapping it down with a fast twist of the wrist! You know you’re doing it right if it lands with that beautiful crisp sound. But, no worries, just keep swinging till you get the technique down pat. Be a considerate top, though, and try not to wrap the end around the outside of his hip. That’s just mean. And unnecessary. And likely to leave a nasty bruise that can last awhile. One way to avoid this, if you’re inexperienced, is not to swing from up high. Swing from midway up and rely on a good wrist snap to control it so it lands only on the middle of his now very red, sore rear end. Use a lighter smack until you get your aim to be accurate, then go to town!
Once you can see he’s really sore and tender, it’s a good time (if you’re into scolding) to rub his nose in his bad judgment to have gotten into such hot water and remind him that if he does it again, next time it will be worse. In this tender state, he’ll be thinking twice about getting uppity. Finishing him off with another hand spanking on a nice sore bum can be quite satisfying. The power you feel from being able to make a bratty bottom flinch and wince and yelp merely from the smack of your bare hand is quite fun. After you think he is properly penitent and compliant, you can wind down by introducing some nice comforting caresses to his bottom in between each flurry of swats until you taper off to a smack or three every 15 seconds or so. If you want to make sure your bottoming brat has been properly tenderized, just pinch their cheeks good once or twice. If they twitch or squirm or go “Ow!” your mission is a success and you can feel secure in wrapping things up. Of course, you can declare him thoroughly spanked whenever you’ve had your fill, regardless. It’s all up to you.
When you feel he’s been properly chastised, roll him off your lap – because he’s probably a little dizzy from the position he’s been in and may need to get back up gradually – and eventually order him to stand up, march over to that nice hard chair and sit down while you deliver your final words of warning and, of course, elicit his apologies. Then watch him squirm uncomfortably on that unforgiving wooden surface while you demand assurance that he’s learned his lesson before letting him off the hook. Check with him and make sure he’s OK and that only his pride has been wounded. A safety check-in afterwards is important until you accurately know your bottom’s tolerance. Once you have done this, you can send him off to get dressed.
This has been a pretty basic introduction to an OTK spanking. It’s very general and would probably constitute a moderate level punishment. But if you’re experienced enough you can improvise and titrate things up or down to suit your preference. Next time we will discuss implements and a higher degree if intensity. In the meantime, play safe! (And come visit me sometime!)
Harriet Marwood, Spankologist
Ms. Marwood is a worldly, intelligent, no-nonsense lady who addresses the behavioral problems of naughty boys of all (consenting) ages. She takes her inspiration from a renowned, stern English governess of longstanding literary fame and believes in the expert application of all manner of traditional domestic corporal discipline as needed and/or deserved.
Visit her site @ www.msmarwood.com
All of us at CANE-IAC thank Ms Marwood for her contribution to our store and for helping to spread the word on safe play and good old fashion "Bottoms Up" spankings.